One Day in The Life of a Bartender (as told through gifs)

Sometime around noon, Wake up for work.

waking

6:03 pm – Come in for your night shift, ready for the night, get pumped with coworkers.

bff

6:22 pm – You are informed that the bar back isn’t coming in tonight.

thesad

7:15 pm – Those early dinner creeps that want to hold a conversation about nothing with you, and you’re listening like

uhhuh

7:45 pm- This girl has a full on 3 course meal at the bar complete with 8 million special requests and needs, you want to:

dumpsalad

8:00 pm – Things are getting going along nicely

swingofthings

8:33 pm – Someone asks you to “hook them up” when you make their cranberry vodka.  CRANBERRY vodka…

absnot

8:45 pm – Some broad waves her hand at you like she’s trying to get a piece of scotch tape off her finger.

rllybitch

8:59 pm – It’s going down, gettin busy

partyppl

9:03 pm – Girl asks you for a margarita but not too sweet or sour

WHAT

9:13 pm – On the drenched bar top, is a CC receipt where someone dicked you out of your proper tip because math

cantcount

9:20 pm – Some mouth breather starts telling you how he USED to bartend

ohubartend

9:22 pm – Worst person ever hijacks the jukebox

listento

9:25 pm – Two girls are having a conversation so void of intelligence that it actually hurts

livetweet

9:33 pm – One of the girls.. “My drink is weak!”

scuseme

9:40 pm – That one annoying customer is all like “What’s wrong honey?”

urmyprob

9:45 pm – Receive the worst fake license you ever saw.  Like, the signature is a font.  A font made to look like handwriting.

mclovin

9:57 pm – Loudest person in the room has somehow learned your name and is calling you over to the other side of the bar

tfuwant

10:15 pm – This kind of shit

selfie

10:16 pm – This kind of shit, too

creeper

10:30pm – Some big shot claims they were waiting too long, are a regular, know the owner.  You never seen this cat before…

whothefru

10:41 pm – Sloppy drunks slam up to your bar top talkin nonsense gibberish, your sober reaction is

O.O

10:45 pm – Quick, gather everyone for a bartender meeting at the taps

shots

11:00 pm – That one regular that is super cool and tips like a boss comes in, orders a drank, says thank you like a human

tumblr_ml4idwkNiG1qjemo2o1_250

11:07 pm – Co-worker informs you they think the couple at seat 6 is gone and their tab is open

whatcrazy

11:15 pm – Girl rolls her eyes at you when you tell her you don’t carry figenza

ramsey

11:35 pm – Daily giggle at dancefloor dancers

poppinoff

11:40 pm- You get this:

raisehandmememe

11:40:25 pm- Go over to gentleman and asks what you can get for him.  He points three people down and says “she needs a drink”.  You don’t need a middle man to perform your job.  Let that skank get attention herself.

hateyoudie

11:45 pm- It’s fucking busy, you’ve hit that point where your cares melt away and you just do your best

idontcare

11:59 pm- You can’t find the shaker tin/strainer/bar spoon/triple sec you need

wherethefuck

12:14 am- Tell this girl she’s cut off, she tells you to shut up

helltotheNO

12:15 am – Nearby guido douche attempts to make conversation with you, get all buddy-buddy and shit

notfriends

12:20 am – You get a chance to survey the land and realize in your head that you are like 3 deep

wtfisthis

12:37 am – Guy comes back from an hour on the dancefloor and says that his drink (sitting the whole time) is watered down

yeah-science

12:46 am – THERE IS A MOMENT TO PEE

yes

12:47 am – Drop your bottle opener in the toilet cause you forgot to take it out of your pocket

OMGwut

12:48 am – Get back to the bar, pass the kitchen and see chef like

chef

12:55 am – This group decides to join your establishment

latenightcrowd

1:05am  – They get all ass hurt when you can only serve maybe one of them, the only one who isn’t stumbling

dealwithit

1:11 am – What’s this??  Cold mozzarella sticks?!

break

1:28 am – LAST CALL!

lastcall

1:30 am – This kinda shit starts piling out from the doors

thisguy

1:46 am – Survey the damage and realize how much clean up there is still left to do

holyshit

1:55 am – Start to feel it

everything hurts

2:05 – Fuck it make money

moneyy

Arriving home, anywhere from 2:30 – 5:00 am

gotosleep

I is bartender?

I’m working three shifts this week. Three. And two of them are day shifts.

OH, oh..and the one shift that IS a night shift — is waiting tables.

The cons are beginning to outweigh the pros.

On the upside, I treated myself to mixology class at the Institute of Culinary Education as a birthday present.

still waiting on those heffers julio

Just want to let you all know that there are some immature motherfuckers working at my job.  From the owner who shoved my last day request note back at me, to the manager who is bad mouthing me to the other employees, to the general gossip chatter all around.

I’ve never been more sure that I’m making the right move by leaving this place.

ch ch changes

I’m hired! Sorry .. I just wanted to tell someone that. It’s a new place that doesn’t open until September, so I need to keep my excitement contained to myself… lest my current job catch wind of this, and let me go out of spite.

I can’t wait to finally sell some quality stuff instead of rattling off our list of really lame domestic beer, and telling people how “good” our mozzarella sticks are.

And they seem interested in perhaps having me on as a bit of a manager, or at the very least a trainer. #MovinOnUp