Sorry..not much content to write about. I no called, no showed those motherfuckers. They can eat shit. I look at my schedule and I was NOT ON ONE SHIFT for the entire week. In my world that means that a) i’m fired b) i’m about to be fired c) you just don’t give a fuck and you hate me.
Sometime around noon, Wake up for work.
6:03 pm – Come in for your night shift, ready for the night, get pumped with coworkers.
6:22 pm – You are informed that the bar back isn’t coming in tonight.
7:15 pm – Those early dinner creeps that want to hold a conversation about nothing with you, and you’re listening like
7:45 pm- This girl has a full on 3 course meal at the bar complete with 8 million special requests and needs, you want to:
8:00 pm – Things are getting going along nicely
8:33 pm – Someone asks you to “hook them up” when you make their cranberry vodka. CRANBERRY vodka…
8:45 pm – Some broad waves her hand at you like she’s trying to get a piece of scotch tape off her finger.
8:59 pm – It’s going down, gettin busy
9:03 pm – Girl asks you for a margarita but not too sweet or sour
9:13 pm – On the drenched bar top, is a CC receipt where someone dicked you out of your proper tip because math
9:20 pm – Some mouth breather starts telling you how he USED to bartend
9:22 pm – Worst person ever hijacks the jukebox
9:25 pm – Two girls are having a conversation so void of intelligence that it actually hurts
9:33 pm – One of the girls.. “My drink is weak!”
9:40 pm – That one annoying customer is all like “What’s wrong honey?”
9:45 pm – Receive the worst fake license you ever saw. Like, the signature is a font. A font made to look like handwriting.
9:57 pm – Loudest person in the room has somehow learned your name and is calling you over to the other side of the bar
10:15 pm – This kind of shit
10:16 pm – This kind of shit, too
10:30pm – Some big shot claims they were waiting too long, are a regular, know the owner. You never seen this cat before…
10:41 pm – Sloppy drunks slam up to your bar top talkin nonsense gibberish, your sober reaction is
10:45 pm – Quick, gather everyone for a bartender meeting at the taps
11:00 pm – That one regular that is super cool and tips like a boss comes in, orders a drank, says thank you like a human
11:07 pm – Co-worker informs you they think the couple at seat 6 is gone and their tab is open
11:15 pm – Girl rolls her eyes at you when you tell her you don’t carry figenza
11:35 pm – Daily giggle at dancefloor dancers
11:40 pm- You get this:
11:40:25 pm- Go over to gentleman and asks what you can get for him. He points three people down and says “she needs a drink”. You don’t need a middle man to perform your job. Let that skank get attention herself.
11:45 pm- It’s fucking busy, you’ve hit that point where your cares melt away and you just do your best
11:59 pm- You can’t find the shaker tin/strainer/bar spoon/triple sec you need
12:14 am- Tell this girl she’s cut off, she tells you to shut up
12:15 am – Nearby guido douche attempts to make conversation with you, get all buddy-buddy and shit
12:20 am – You get a chance to survey the land and realize in your head that you are like 3 deep
12:37 am – Guy comes back from an hour on the dancefloor and says that his drink (sitting the whole time) is watered down
12:46 am – THERE IS A MOMENT TO PEE
12:47 am – Drop your bottle opener in the toilet cause you forgot to take it out of your pocket
12:48 am – Get back to the bar, pass the kitchen and see chef like
12:55 am – This group decides to join your establishment
1:05am – They get all ass hurt when you can only serve maybe one of them, the only one who isn’t stumbling
1:11 am – What’s this?? Cold mozzarella sticks?!
1:28 am – LAST CALL!
1:30 am – This kinda shit starts piling out from the doors
1:46 am – Survey the damage and realize how much clean up there is still left to do
1:55 am – Start to feel it
2:05 – Fuck it make money
Arriving home, anywhere from 2:30 – 5:00 am