“Can I have a rum and Captain?”
“I’m 27…trust me.. I’ll tell you if I’m drunk”
“No, actually it’s the other way around. WE’LL tell YOU if you’re drunk”
And when a bartender tells you you’re taking a cab home, you take a fucking cab. Oh, you’re not gonna get in and go to your car instead? Well, congratulations dick-suck, you just earned yourself a one way ticket outta this bar forever.
No, go ahead..ask me again if I’m working tomorrow. I’ll just pretend that you didn’t ask this same question 8 times in the last two hours.